Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Minutes of the Meeting

i had an important meeting today. i have been shifted internally to another project. "optimal re-allocation of in-house resources". fuck MBA in general and project managers (jargon toting man-eaters) in specific! saala aadmi se commodity bana diya!

this was an important meeting as i was to be introduced to the rest of the team members and assigned work for the rest of the week. the meeting lasted all of 1 hour. presented here are the minutes of the meeting in 15 min chunks.

1. i wrote down my name. i was supposed to tell it to everyone later on. then i heard someone mention MQ processing inside of a very long and completely meaningless sentence. so that went down too. and the rest is the result of my very fruitful imagination.

i thought a little bit of charming rusticity would help elicit a meaningful response to the useless chit chat that was going on around me.

the MQ just got stuck inside.

2. this was in response to a "bekaar hai" scribbled on the other indian colleagues notebook. the scribble beneath it just followed of its own accord.

i think its meant to depict the aimless wandering that the entire meeting, and the discussions therein, were headed off to.

i have serious misgivings about this corporate entity called Meeting from now on. its a perfect example of machiavellianism of the top order.

3. aah this is a good one. there was this lady sitting diagonally opposite to me on the left side. so this is basically a view of her right side. this left feels right!

she looked in her mid-30's. beautiful full auburn hair, high cheekbones, slanting nose, pink lips, long curly eyelashes. sigh! she sounded exactly like a gum toting husker from alabama. my dream gal :)

4. aha! last but not the least... actually definitely not the least. this is my favorite one.

at this point the meeting had almost reached a crescendo of garish voices all combed together into a fine symphony that would have put beethoven to shame. if irritation wanted a perfect pitch and frequency for a sound wave, the meeting had it.

thats when i snapped. something went "floop" inside me. notice the different expressions on these robotic faces. benign, troubled, angry and just plain naughty (from left to right). its amazing how, by varying the angle of the eyebrows and the length and distention of the arms, one can bring about a complete change in perception of emotion. we humans are solidly entrenched in evolution eh? and no way out. (ok that was completely out of context. but i thought up this line and it sounded so cool to me that i had to put it in here)

which reminds me, i am currently reading "how to survive a robot uprising" by daniel h. wilson. its an amusing faux survival guide on... you guessed it, how to survive a robot uprising. but the point where it departs from fantasy is that it uses real world scenarios to lay out its tips and tricks. it does not use any fantastical examples which are outside of current research's reach. its fun to read if you are a robotic enthusiast. How To Survive a Robot Uprising : Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion check it out!

thats it for now folks. may the forks be with you!


Vaibhav said...

Your posts interstingly contemplative and funny to boot... I am a big fan of meetings though... the waty work is, we don't get any other sort of breaks...

Not much of an artist myself, but i used to enjoy going off on tangents while taking down endless notes in class...

Ahh, Small joys...


Anonymous said...

Fuck MBA? dude...the last time i met you your had much better opinion about MBAs, with future plans to join the fold....

In any case, the "key take away" (MBA Jargon!!)from the minutes was that sketch (auburn hair lady..). any progress on that front?

Canary said...

u told me to visit ur page if i wanted to laugh, mujhe to kahi kuchh funny nahi mila.

kiddin.. :p by the way, read that post in the form of a mail bout women, u really think lik dat ? hmm..

008 said...

you got the ticket on mba man.. it's GLOBE...