kilter

i have been pushed. don't think i would have been able to post otherwise. even now i don't have anything to write about. but i guess i can take other bloggers' examples and write about not having anything to write about. i must say i haven't tried my hand at something like this before.

right then! i thought about that for 15 minutes. i think i am ready to write a few more lines. one step at a time. i was wondering where the inspiration had withered off to. the Point of Desperation seems to be infinitely far off in the distance. my top seems to be the fag end of an equation which is finitely bounded. where have all the piquant events disappeared off to? where have the thoughts jilted off to? why has the will wilted? why have the well travelled paths along neurons become limpid? the statements above look like they were ripped off from a GRE wordbook. just an observation.

maybe its time to traverse new pathways. even as i write i am dissatisfied with whatever i have penned down in this post. just doesn't feel right. my thinking seems to have gone off kilter these days. staring at the screen for long periods of time, trying to find meaning and recognisable shapes in half eaten food, thinking about words and their implications, wondering about people and their motivations for excessive amounts of time, listening to one song over and over for 3 days (bandeh by indian ocean for black friday), and other such meaningless activities. couple this with a high irritability quotient and childish sensitivity to what people say (or don't), and i think i might just have stumbled onto PMS in men.

the last 3 weeks have been spent in quite a bit of socialising. weekend parties, get togethers, pot luck dinners, team sports, et al. i think all of that just got to me. its almost as if i am in a state of colloidal suspension between wanting more, and disgust at the prospect.

i am sure its just a temporary phenomenon and i will be back to writing long monologues on inane matters soon. but since i am not given to thinking much on what the future might hold, i shall sulk in the present.

6 hours later: i just hit upon a very valid question. why is an admission of weakness heard as a plea for help by other people? it is something that hovers at the border of my thoughts now and then. and especially with the female species. open question to all.

i think i should put an end to this meandering post now. pox on those subversive souls who made me write.