just another day

the most difficult part in writing a blog is trying to remember the day's events. i dont mean to say in minute detail. the poignant moments, the nice thoughts, the birlliant ideas, etc., are crowded out by the present. the currents of thought and time are ethereal. and that is after making an effort.

all i can remember from today is a girl sitting on the opposite bench from me in the bus. she was smiling to herself. and i remember wondering what she was smiling about. the other thing i remember is seeing a bare bones tree right in front of a lush one, and wondering how quaint life can be. of course i remember the tardy interview for a GA post on campus. didn't go very well and needless to say i didn't get the job. i remember rushing around madly trying to find a few quarters to take a printout of my resume in the library, and my subsequent frustation at not finding any. i remember standing at the bus stop pacing impatiently for the bus. i remember feeling very lonely at the time. i remember eating lunch while watching a movie. i remember feeling sad even though it is a weekend. i remember sitting in front of the computer staring idly at the screen for quite some time.

but for the life of me i cant seem to remember my feelings at these points in time. not as lucidly as i did when i felt these moments. the mirth of the trees, the mysterious wondering about the girl's smile, the hunger, the sadness, the impatience; i do remember all that. but nothing besides a memory. are we, or rather i, given to emote in the present only? what is it that takes away the capability to empathise with our memories?

this leads to something much more significant. am i given to be a singularity of the present, and not a sum total of my past?

i dont see any answers for now. maybe these are questions better left for another day.