a montage of views in Lubbock 

an idyllic scene outside the USDA (Lubbock) 

lets play some american football 

a song, in vain

i just had this poem/song rotting in my records for sometime now. the records being a bunch of lightly held sticky notes from 3 years ago. its still scrawled out in my unholy squiggly. somehow it has lost all its meaning for me. i dont know what i was trying to say, or what i felt at that time. maybe thats why i am putting it here on my blog. i present it to you verbatim.

i see the light at the end of the tunnel,
they say its a train come to deliver me,
i think its a dark angel come to get me.
dont trip me dear; i wanna see it come head on.

i stand there as i fly,
trying to catch my dreams,
as they all float by,
the darkness begins to grind me.

oh! its a boy with a light in his hands,
i see the innocence has all drained through his pants,
"wont you come and play by the swing?,
sit with me and wash away those sins".

as i consider, the boy disappears,
the train rolls on, without me anywhere.

oh! dont mock me, i'm just weird,
trying to find love in novels front and rear,
the pages just slip by,
stop laughing! wont you try and make me disappear.

i dont understand this mystery,
could i change myself from what i made myself be,
maybe somewhere there is retribution,
maybe somewhere there is redemption,
"hey lil boy hold my hands, i feel like sin".

wash away those memories,
wash away those tears,
look at me,
i am dying right here...